Hand Dryers

A Day in the Life of Brayden...Hand Dryers

Potty Training…. One of the activities that we have been working really hard on to toilet training.  Brayden does a great job of going when we take him but he does not initiate it.  We have him on a type of voiding schedule.   We are working on pushing the “I have to go to the bathroom,” on the talker and then we take him.  We were at a basketball tournament in Minnesota.  I took Brayden into the bathroom.  As we walked into the bathroom I noticed the automatic hand dryers.  I cringed.  Brayden hates the hand dryers.   The bathroom was fairly empty and I quickly took him into the bathroom.  I know that most kids are frighten of the automatic flush.  That is something Brayden loves.  He loves the toilet water, the way the water spins in circles at it flushes.  If allowed he would flush all day long.  As he is sitting on the toilet I noticed some moms come in.  My 9 year old Ava is standing guard at the bathroom stall.  It is always awkward.  Even though he is only 6 years old I worry how toileting will go in the future.  Can he continue to go in the women’s bathroom?  He can’t be alone.  Will his 3 year old brother be able to help him as he grows?  Will he ever be out of pull-ups.  Will I be still working on toileting and changing him when he is a teenager or an adult?  He starts kindergarten this year will the kids make fun of him.  All of these thoughts swirl through my head.  The mom’s head toward the sinks.  There is a group of 3 moms.  I step out of the stall and politely say, “Do you mind please not using the hand dryer, it really frightens my son.”  They gave me a dirty look and proceeded to the hand dryer.  As they hit the start button Brayden flew off the toilet.  It was like he had been electrocuted.  He clum up me like a tree.  He was crying flailing and trying to get out of the bathroom.  I quickly yanked up his pants and picked him up and exited the bathroom.  Ava’s running behind me saying, “Mom, why did those ladies give you a dirty look? Mom why did they use the hand dryer when you asked them not to.”  As we exited the bathroom I am met by Abby my 16 year old.  Tears are flooding her eyes.  “Mom,” she sputters, “I was on my way into the bathroom and three ladies said to me, I just wanted to warn you there is an autistic kid in there that is really freaking out.”  I hear things all the time like this.  I am not one to have a come back, I wish I could take the time to educate.  Maybe I need a card to hand out.  Mostly I just take a deep breath, look at Brayden’s sweet smile, take his hand, and say a prayer that he didn’t care about what just happened.  Today was different.  I saw the hurt on my daughter’s faces.  I saw the tear, sadness, and anger.  That is when I just opened my arms, gave them a hug and slid down the wall.  As the tears flowed I didn’t even attempt to wipe them away.  I wanted to tell those moms that we are at a travel ball tournament.  Only a few kids are lucky enough to be able to play.   Those kids didn’t chose their ability, their parents supportiveness to take them, or their families financial ability.  Likewise Brayden did not chose to be 6, struggle with potty training, and be scared of a hand dryer.

    Over the past few years I have learned a lot.  I have learned that things are not always what they seem.  Every person has their “hand dryer.”  Something that makes them uncomfortable for reasons that they might not even know.  What I am asking is the next time you see a kiddo “freaking out,” take a minute before judging the mom, dad or the kiddo and ask how you can help or think to yourself that there might be something going on with them that we just don’t know about.