Kindness

A Day in the Life of Brayden...Kindness

Chad’s dad was recently hospitalized at Theda Clark.  He has cancer.  The cancer had metastasized to his brain.  Chad’s brother called us and told us to come to the hospital. He had had an event that day that caused him to have difficulties with his speech, memory, and balance.  He was going to need surgery.  We travelled to the hospital the next day.  When we go places I always have a plan.  Monkey backpack, stroller with large canopy so he can hide, iPad, tablet with Nemo, a bag full of his favorite snacks, drinks, fidgets, ball, and an object to spin.  As we made the 3 hour drive we talked about the hospital and seeing Grandpa Bob.  As we approached the entrance to the hospital Brayden was protected in his stroller with his tablet in his hand.  I walked nervously toward Bob’s room.  Brayden has a gift to sense anxiety.  As we approached the door,  Chad’s dad saw us a huge smile lit up his face and he started to stand to give everyone a hug.  His chair alarm went off and Brayden panicked.  His feet pressed against the frame of the door and he turned almost flipping the stroller to get out of the room/doorway.  I backed the stroller out with him climbing on me like a scared cat up a tree.  I took him down the hall to a waiting room. There was a huge window that we could see the water, watch the trees move, and observe a family of seagulls.  He clung to me.  He was crying that sad, scared, broken hearted cry.   I held him, rocked back and forth, and talked with him.  He was quiet, scared, and sobbing.  He buried his face in my neck while I quietly sung and he could feel the vibration on his cheek.  After about 15 minutes he was starting to get a little heavy so we sat down.  He looked out the window and started say “EEE” and jump up and down. Honestly I don't even hear him,  I worry more when I can’t hear his joyful hum.   A smile was starting to form on his face.  He had one of his small fidgets and his chewy.  Someone’s family member was in the waiting area.  She kindly smiled and said to him, “I like your fidget, what is your name.”  I turned Brayden toward her and said, “Brayden, say “hi,”. He turned and gave her his half hearted wave.  We have taught him to wave to greet people.  He will do it when prompted but I know he thinks it is pointless.  At that moment a Nurse came into the waiting room.  She was wearing an isolation gown and pointed in Brayden’s direction. She said, “You have to make him be quiet or you are going to have to leave.” I think if would have been less painful to have been slapped in the face.  Her words knocked the wind out of me and I my breath caught in my throat.  There is no way that  I was going to be able to get him to stop humming.  Humming helps him regulate in overwhelming situations.  As I whisk him up tears filling my eyes I carried him and pushed the stroller down to the entrance of the hospital.  They had a beautiful corridor filled with plants, sun, and peacefulness.  Brayden and I sat there in the silence.  I could hear the gentle song that he plays on his tablet.  “One two I love you,....”. I hear it so much I often just tune it out.  I just sat there and prayed.

When people are in the hospital they are in their most vulnerable state.  Everything is new, scary, and overwhelming.   Chad’s dad didn’t chose to be there.  He didn’t chose to be sick.  Here my father-in-law weak, helpless, and just wanting to visit with his children and his grandchildren.  After about an hour Chad and my other kids walked down to find us.  Chad told me that there was a little corner window in his Dad’s room.  If we walked Brayden in really quick we could tuck him in there.  He could look out the window , cover with a blanket and feel safe.  Fortunately that worked.  It took both of us to get him in the room but once he was tucked in the corner he was very happy and we all got to have a nice visit with Grandpa.

How would a service dog help in this situation.  Brayden is a beautiful little boy.  He has a smile that melts your heart and his hugs, everyone that meets Brayden loves him.  Maybe like these little notes I am doing the dog will open up a conversation.  Why is it that we are all so private?  Why do we only want to share our victories and keep our struggles hidden?  I am hoping that the service dog will prompt people to take an extra moment read the vest, realize that he has Autism and ask some questions.  As we all open our hearts to people that may do things a little different we realize that kindness, patience,  and understand can make a big impact on people’s lives.